The internet...

by **Heath** Wed Aug 26, 2009 1:13 pm

Gives you the funniest things. I don't know about you, but I just found out about this today. xD

Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator

My complaint about Heath

So here I am taking time out of my busy schedule to let you and maybe a few other people know that you can see where this is going. Before I launch into my rant, permit me the prelude caveat that Heath has been trying to convince us that national-security interests can and should be sidestepped whenever his personal interests are at stake. This pathetic attempt to violate strongly held principles regarding deferral of current satisfaction for long-term gains deserves no comment other than to say that Heath can get away with lies (e.g., that Bonapartism is absolutely essential to the well-being of society) because the average person cannot imagine anyone lying so brazenly. Not one person in a hundred will actually check out the facts for himself and discover that Heath is lying.

I would never take a job working for Heath. Given his bloody-minded hastily mounted campaigns, who would want to? There is an unpleasant fact, painful to the tender-minded, that one can deduce from the laws of nature. This fact is also conclusively established by direct observation. It is a fact so obvious that rational people have always known it and no one doubted it until Heath and his buddies started trying to deny it. The fact to which I am referring states that if it weren't for wily, postmodernist politicasters, Heath would have no friends.

It's not just that the notion that Heath finds it easier to discuss other people's problems than his own is pervasive but also that he teaches workshops on cameralism. Students who have been through the program compare it to a Communist re-education camp. I wonder if he really believes the things he says. He knows they're not true, doesn't he? If you maintain that cultural tradition has never contributed a single thing to the advancement of knowledge or understanding then you won't understand my answer no matter how carefully I explain it. You won't understand my answer if you believe that Heath's decisions are based on reason. However, you have a chance at understanding my answer if you're open-minded enough to realize that Heath is stepping over the line when he attempts to make empty promises—way over the line. But it gets worse than that. Heath maintains that he understands the difference between civilization and savagery. Perhaps it would be best for him to awaken from his delusional, narcoleptic fantasyland and observe that it would be charitable of me not to mention that the failure of his factotums to recognize that this was true long before the latest scandal broke casts doubts upon their methods. Fortunately, I am not beset by a spirit of false charity so I will instead maintain that he loves getting up in front of people and telling them that he can be trusted to judge the rest of the world from a unique perch of pure wisdom. He then boasts about how he'll conspire with evil some day. It's all part of the media spectacle that is Heath. Of course, he soaks it up and wallows in it like a pig in mud. Speaking of pigs and mud, Heath's tirades represent a backward step of hundreds of years, a backward step into a chasm with no bottom save the endless darkness of death.

One could write several books on the subject of how thanks to Heath, feebleminded political movements are experiencing a resurgence around the world, as evidenced by the way that one of Heath's goombahs once said, "There is something intellectually provocative in the tired rehashing of caustic stereotypes." Now that's pretty funny, of course, but I didn't include that quote just to make you laugh. I included it to convince you that Heath is on some sort of thesaurus-fueled rampage. Every sentence he writes is filled with needlessly long words like "nondeterministic" and "physicophilosophical". Either Heath is deliberately trying to confuse us or else he's secretly scheming to foist the most poisonously false and destructive myths imaginable upon us.

Heath, as usual, you prove yourself to be deranged. He must have some sort of problem with reading comprehension. That's the only explanation I can come up with as to why he accuses me of admitting that he has answers to everything. What I actually said is that thanks to Heath, I'm now suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrome. I'll go further: Heath's twisted manuscripts put a clog on all attempts to limit his power. News of this deviousness must spread like wildfire if we are ever to give peace a chance. How can Heath live with himself, knowing that he is perfectly willing to show his embarrassingly poor reasoning and warped ethics in print? The answer is almost entirely obvious—this isn't rocket science, you know. The key is that if you've never seen Heath strip the world of conversation, friendship, and love, you're either incredibly unobservant or are concealing the truth from yourself.

I wouldn't even mention that this is a classic example of a zero-sum game if it weren't true. The practical struggle which now begins, sketched in broad outlines, takes the following course: Heath's coalition of unholy ex-cons and unbalanced spoiled brats appears to be growing in number. I pray that this is analogous to the flare-up of a candle just before extinction yet I keep reminding myself that if you think that a totalitarian dictatorship is the best form of government we could possibly have then you're suffering from very serious nearsightedness. You're focusing too much on what Heath wants you to see and failing to observe many other things of much greater importance such as that it is not uncommon for him to victimize the innocent, penalize the victim for making any effort to defend himself, and then paint the whole peevish affair as some great benefit to humanity.

I discussed this topic in a previous letter, so I will not go into great detail now, but Heath is frightened that we might debate the efficacy of his disrespectful fulminations. That's why he's trying so hard to prevent whistleblowers from reporting that I want to thank him for his ideologies. They give me an excellent opportunity to illustrate just how juvenile Heath can be. When he made his puppy-dog faithfuls wag their little tails by promising to let them reduce religion to a consumer item in a spiritual supermarket, I realized for the first time that if we let Heath lobotomize everyone caught thinking an independent thought, all we'll have to look forward to in the future is a public realm devoid of culture and a narrow and routinized professional life untouched by the highest creations of civilization. To say that coercion in the name of liberty is a valid use of state power is rancorous nonsense and untrue to boot. It has been proven time and time again that the time is always right to do what is right. That's why we must denounce those who claim that we should derive moral guidance from Heath's glitzy, multi-culti, hip-hop, consumption-oriented ultimata. The first step in that process is to realize that his eccentricity is surpassed only by his vanity and his vanity is surpassed only by his empty theorizing. (Remember his theory that everyone who doesn't share his beliefs is an illiberal autocrat deserving of death and damnation?)

It will not be easy to think outside the box. Nevertheless, we must attempt to do exactly that for the overriding reason that some people think it's a bit extreme of me to examine his worldview from the perspective of its axiology (values) and epistemology (ways of knowing)—a bit over the top, perhaps. Well, what I ought to remind such people is that the purpose of this letter is far greater than to prove to you how self-pitying and sinful Heath has become. The purpose of this letter is to get you to start thinking for yourself, to start thinking about how my goal is to get him to realize that his dream is for us to lay down our freedom at our feet and say to him, "Make us your slaves—but feed us". Of course, if he insists on remaining an ignorant, uninformed, and ill-informed Luddite, that's his prerogative. I refuse to believe solely on Heath's say-so that society is screaming for Heath's invectives. It follows from this that he likes plaguing our minds. That's the most damnable thing about him. It's also why the real question here is not, "Where is Heath's integrity?". The real question is rather, "Why doesn't Heath try doing something constructive for once in his life?" This isn't such an easy question to answer, but let me take a stab at it: If you'll allow me a minor dysphemism, Heath's utterances don't amount to anything. Or, to phrase that a little more politely, I am not making a generalization when I say that I don't think it is a mere coincidence that I don't enjoy Heath's bawdy sense of humor. How much more illumination does that fact need before Heath can grasp it? Assuming the answer is "a substantial amount", let me point out that the unalterable law of biology has a corollary that is generally overlooked. Specifically, Heath has never satisfactorily proved his assertion that he has the authority to issue licenses for practicing neopaganism. He has merely justified that assertion with the phrase, "Because I said so."

If I recall correctly, I, for one, definitely don't believe that the sky is falling. So when he says that that's what I believe, I see how little he understands my position. I've tried explaining to Heath's flunkies that Heath is fiddling while Rome burns. Unfortunately, it is clear to me in talking to them that they have no comprehension of what I'm saying. I might as well be talking to creatures from Mars. In fact, I'd bet Martians would be more likely to discern that there is blood on Heath's hands. I'll say that again because I want it to sink in: It must be stated quite categorically that one of history's clearest lessons is that Heath must believe that if he doesn't lay down diktats that force me to lose my temper, he'll have led a meaningless life.

Undeniably, Heath's prognoses have merged with ageism in several interesting ways. Both spring from the same kind of reality-denying mentality. Both cover up Heath's criminal ineptitude. And both prostrate the honor, power, independence, laws, and property of entire countries. Lastly, for those who read this letter, I hope you take it to heart and pass this message on to others.